another joke from my daughter

whats pink and fuffy?


A: Pink fluff


Whats blue and fluffy?



A: Pink fluff holding its breath

What do you get when you play country music backwards?
You get your house back, your car back, your wife back, your dog back...it can go on and on.

777 wrote:

What do you get when you play country music backwards?
You get your house back, your car back, your wife back, your dog back...it can go on and on.

Love that joke!

How menny light bulbs dose it take to screw in a light bulb....?

The little boy was caught swearing by his teacher.

"Jeffrey," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where
did you hear it?"

"My daddy said it," he responded.

"Well, that doesn't matter," she explained, "you don't know what it
means."

"I do, too," Jeffrey corrected. "It means the car won't start."

At the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle, there is a full size
mockup of an F/A-18 fighter. A ramp allows visitors to climb into the
cockpit and get a sense of what the pilot sees and feels. A guide at
the top of the ramp points out the various controls and gauges in the
cockpit and gives information about the aircraft's capabilities to
each visitor who gets in. When my five-year-old son sat down in the
plane, he seemed fascinated by all he saw and heard. Then, he looked
out at us and said, "Gramma, could I have a quarter?"

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!"

He replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"

Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.


One 11-year old wrote, "When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."

oldschooldoom wrote:

At the Boeing Museum of Flight in Seattle, there is a full size
mockup of an F/A-18 fighter. A ramp allows visitors to climb into the
cockpit and get a sense of what the pilot sees and feels. A guide at
the top of the ramp points out the various controls and gauges in the
cockpit and gives information about the aircraft's capabilities to
each visitor who gets in. When my five-year-old son sat down in the
plane, he seemed fascinated by all he saw and heard. Then, he looked
out at us and said, "Gramma, could I have a quarter?"

Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one. "Are you sure?", the friend persisted.
"What happens if you lose that ball?" The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it so I don't need another one."

Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it."

"Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?"

The other guy replied, "That's okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back -- no problem."

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do
then?"

"No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is fluourescent. I'll be able to see it in the dark."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

The other guy replies, "I found it."

that is awesome

While driving my young daughter to pre-school one day, I saw that a
family of dead raccoons were on the road ahead of me. I sped up
hoping that she would not notice them.

"Mommy," she asked, "what was that?"

Thinking quickly, I told her that some wood must have fallen from a truck.

"Oh," she said. "Is that what killed all those raccoons?"

”If God Texted the 10 Commandments”

1. no1 b4 me. srsly.

2. dnt wrshp pix/idols

3. no omg's

4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)

5. pos ok - ur m&d r cool

6. dnt kill ppl

7. :-X only w/ m8

8. dnt steal

9. dnt lie re: bf

10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.

ttyl, JHWH.

ps. wwjd?

lol!

Following Ash's lead:
I was sitting in history class one day and we started talking about Auschwitz. I got a depressed and my teacher looked over and said, "What's wrong?" I responded "I usually don't talk about it." "Oh," she responded, "did a family member die there?" I said "Yes, my uncle did. He fell out of a guard tower."

Last summer my wife and I met a couple who were friends of my wife at
a restaurant. After lunch, the women decided to go shopping, and I
invited the man to go sailing. While we were out on the water, a
storm blew up. The tide had gone out, and we were down wind trying to
work our way back through a narrow channel. At one point the boat
grounded and we had to climb overboard and shove with all our might
to get it back in deep water.

As my new friend stood there, ankle deep in muck, the wind blowing
his hair wildly, rain streaming down his face, he grinned at me, and
with unmistakable sincerity said, "Sure beats shopping."

A teenager who had just received her learner's permit for
driving offered to drive her parents to church. After a
hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination.

"Thank you!" said the mother as she got out of the car and
breathed a sigh of relief.

"Anytime," her daughter replied.

As the mother closed the door she said, "I wasn't talking to
you. I was talking to God."

oldschooldoom wrote:

A teenager who had just received her learner's permit for
driving offered to drive her parents to church. After a
hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination.

"Thank you!" said the mother as she got out of the car and
breathed a sigh of relief.

"Anytime," her daughter replied.

As the mother closed the door she said, "I wasn't talking to
you. I was talking to God."

There is an old story about a mother who walks in on her 6 year-old
son and finds him sobbing. "What's the matter?" she asks.

"I've just figured out how to tie my shoes."

"Well, Honey, that's wonderful." Being a wise mother, she recognized
his victory in the struggle of autonomy versus doubt: "You're growing
up, but why are you crying?"

"Because," he says, "now I'll have to do it every day for the rest of my life."

oldschooldoom wrote:

"Because," he says, "now I'll have to do it every day for the rest of my life."

That is why you never do your best, so you'll never be expected to repeat it

The Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh

His dizzy aunt ------------ --------- --------- ---------
Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes------ --------- --------- -------
Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store ---------
Stop N Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia ------------ --------- ------
U Gogh
His magician uncle ------------ --------- --------- ------
Where-diddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin ------------ --------- --------- -----------A
Mee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ---------------
Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach ------------ ---
Wells-far Gogh
The constipated uncle ------------ --------- ---------
Can't Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt ------------ ---------
Tang Gogh
The bird lover uncle ------------ --------- ---------
Flamin Gogh
The fruit-loving cousin ------------ --------- ---------
Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking ------------
Way-to-Gogh
The little bouncy nephew ------------ --------- -------------
Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco ------------ --------- ---------
Go Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in an RV ---
Winnie Bay Gogh

^^ win.

A lady went to a pet shop.

"I'd like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner.

"We don't have any canaries, but we have these," the owner said, as
he showed the lady some pale green parakeets.

"That's not what I'm looking for," the lady stated.

But the pet store owner refused to give up. He said, "Just think of
them as yellow canaries that aren't quite ripe yet."

HAHAHA-Van Gogh's!!!!!That was good!!!LOLOLOL!

Theres 3 kinds of people in this world.Those who know how to count and those who don't!