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sirhemlock
Number of posts : 11 Age : 65 Registration date : 2009-06-13 Points : 5673
| Subject: Rapture takes two Sun Mar 07, 2010 12:49 am | |
| - larknews.com wrote:
- OTTAWA — The Rapture occurred yesterday, at 9:43 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time and took both people on the planet whose theology was exactly correct.
Dan Wilson of Ottawa, Canada, was snatched away while sleeping. "He spent years refining his eschatological scheme," says his wife. "Just last week he told me he had it all right, but I still disagreed with him on a minor point. I regret that now." Rejna Thanawalla of New Delhi, India, also experienced the Rapture, say friends. "She knew exactly what the books of Revelation and Daniel meant," they say. "Sadly, none of us listened to her." In a surprise, Tim LaHaye says he was "slightly wrong on the subject of the Beast," and was left behind. Other prophecy experts say they, too, botched minor points in their end times charts. "Looks like we'll have to stay and wait this out," said one disappointed pastor. |
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lord voldemort
Number of posts : 550 Age : 45 Location : Toccoa, GA Registration date : 2009-11-07 Points : 6144
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Sun Mar 07, 2010 1:00 am | |
| Where did they disappear to? |
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IronGuardian
Number of posts : 2271 Age : 35 Location : Perth, Western Australia Registration date : 2008-11-03 Points : 8358
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Sun Mar 07, 2010 1:40 am | |
| Well, I'd better scrap any long term (7+ years) plans then! |
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wizardovmetal
Number of posts : 1056 Age : 33 Location : COLD Registration date : 2009-08-17 Points : 6854
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Sun Mar 07, 2010 2:51 am | |
| the govt. probably had them done away with and used christian heresies to cover it up jk.................maybe |
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MetalMatt
Number of posts : 5020 Age : 30 Location : Indiana Registration date : 2009-01-31 Points : 10951
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Sun Mar 07, 2010 8:25 am | |
| For some reason I knida doubt this, since when was our theology God's main concern with us |
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wizardovmetal
Number of posts : 1056 Age : 33 Location : COLD Registration date : 2009-08-17 Points : 6854
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Sun Mar 07, 2010 1:23 pm | |
| never....... we are all trying to understand an infinitley powerful and infinitley wise god whos ways are much higher then our own and no matter how hard we try we can never fully understand god until he makes his dwelling among us. |
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Death over Life
Number of posts : 632 Age : 35 Location : The Inner Sanctum known as my Insanity and Damnation Registration date : 2008-11-02 Points : 6513
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Sun Mar 07, 2010 3:34 pm | |
| - MetLHed4GZus wrote:
- For some reason I knida doubt this, since when was our theology God's main concern with us
Well, Christ did kind of show it to us he cares at least to an extent on theology with the Scribes and Pharisees. Christ did also say the false prophets would suffer the worst of them all so I think although it doesn’t directly say it, it does imply that God does care about what we believe about Him, lest we are really worshipping ourselves and calling that God. - wizardovmetal wrote:
- never....... we are all trying to understand an infinitley powerful and infinitley wise god whos ways are much higher then our own and no matter how hard we try we can never fully understand god until he makes his dwelling among us.
I disagree with the 1st word, but I do agree with this post. When we say this and that about God, that is what we believe about Him and are worshipping Him as. The best way I can put this would be an example. Let us say that I am God. Okay, so I have many followers. 1 person who follows me claims that my favorite color is green and that I am gay. Yet, in my many Books my followers have written, it shows that homosexuality is an abomination in my eyes, but it says absolutely nothing on my favorite color. So, the one who is worshipping me as a homosexual isn’t worshipping me, but rather his view of me because I had specifically denied homosexuality while he still chooses to believe that I am a homosexual. As for my favorite color, that is just trivial and I personally won’t care about that, but at the same time, when you are telling others about me that you do not know of and if you are wrong, I am going to get on to you for lying about me. I don’t care if you think my favorite color is green, but my fav color is not green, so thus if you go around telling everyone that my favorite color is green when you have no proof of it, then you are basically making up stuff about me, proof or no proof. I don’t care for the color, but it is still lieing. And lieing is something that I have stated is an absolute sin. I hope this example showed what I was referring to. No, I’m not claiming to be God, just nothing more than a parable/example. I hope it portrayed what I was intending it to portray. |
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Kamerad Ash
Number of posts : 2273 Age : 46 Location : Hell Registration date : 2008-12-12 Points : 8602
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:54 pm | |
| it was just an alien abduction, not the rapture.
be thankful you aren't going through an anal probe right now, like these two.. and who knows what other tortures. |
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Usvart Jorge
Number of posts : 758 Age : 31 Location : Douglas, AZ, USA Registration date : 2009-02-17 Points : 6632
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:10 am | |
| Hahaha.... this was a funny hoax. |
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JeffdlS
Number of posts : 10442 Age : 54 Location : Texas Registration date : 2008-11-02 Points : 12820
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:57 am | |
| sirhemlock's a member here? |
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Theonymic
Number of posts : 375 Age : 37 Registration date : 2009-01-13 Points : 6164
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Mon Mar 08, 2010 12:09 pm | |
| Eschatology is not theology. |
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MetalMatt
Number of posts : 5020 Age : 30 Location : Indiana Registration date : 2009-01-31 Points : 10951
| Subject: Re: Rapture takes two Mon Mar 08, 2010 5:21 pm | |
| Yeah DOL, I agree, god does care to an extent about our theology, but it is not his main concern. |
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