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ELAN

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PostSubject: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:10 pm

Does anyone else here have any stories as to how they were brought up to be 'Christian', but eventually found Christ ironically through deviating from their upbrining?

Example, for me; I was brought up by my Christian mother and father, church, and Christian school, and they all taught me separate things. The Christian school changed denominational curriculum every couple of years, so it would go from Lutheran to Calvinist to Catholic in a mere span of years. My church was Evangelical, but taught by both Calvinists and Armenians alike, both in contrast with each others' ideologies.
My mother was very conservative, and rooted in bringing me up this way, and would go so far as to buy me 'Testa-mints' instead of Tic-Tacs simply due to their 'Christian message' for awhile (don't worry... she has since lightened up on this a bit).

Anyway, what ended up happening to me was I began seriously doubting everything, because I did not simply want to be believing what I was told all my life I went so far a to go into an almost agnostic state of being, simply to be open to other "truths" if I were to find them. I did not want to be swayed by my upbringing one bit. I even got kicked out of the Christian school (also for academic reasons, but I just did not fit their ideal demographic anymore).

Eventually, however, the Holy Spirit reached out and showed me that He had been the right way all along, and I saw it. However, my political/theological views starkly changed quite a bit. I now reject the concepts of religion, denominations, and other things. I now will be a bit hesitant to even simply call myself a 'Christian' to an unbeliever, simply because I have seen that the term was created years after Christ, possibly by the Romans (could even have been a derogatory term? Who knows), and I wish now to keep my faith and the historical and political ties to the Holy Roman Empire and European state churches quite separate. I hold no banner toward any denomination of 'Christianity', but, moreover, I find Christ's teachings to be infallible.
I also found myself out of the rut of universalism and emergent propaganda, which I believe both that Christian school and church were heading toward.

Now, you can agree or disagree with my current views all you want, but the real issue at hand here is if anyone else has had a similar experience like this?
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:24 pm

I was raised in strict Catholic family and went through a lot of tough situations where I pretty much lost my faith for awhile. I was self confessed atheist from 13 years old til 16/17 years old.

I could write a big book about it but to sum it all up, I pretty much had to nearly die to find my faith again. I haven't looked back ever since.


I agree with you, Elan. I despise religion in general and it just caused soo many issues in the world.

I'm a "Christian" as in I believe in God and Jesus' teachings, but I don't go to church and I see it as a personal relationship with God. That is the most precious thing in the world.

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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:02 pm

I can relate somewhat. I was raised both Southern Baptist and Assembly of God. My mother being Baptist and my father AOG. These were confusing times for me being raised in both denom. It was really confusing when my father enrolled me into a Pentecostal school after going to public school for most of my education. I suppose this was my fathers conviction for me to go, but not for long (about 2 years) Afterwards went back to public school. As for my Theology goes, I've always been a mommas boy so naturally I leaned more toward Baptist. I don't believe in everything they teach, but a great deal I do. I suppose you could call me a Baptocostal. I don't believe that just one denom is right to the exclusion of all the others. The bottom line to me is to allow the holy Spirit to lead us into truth and to work out ones salvation through fear and trembling. The pursuit of Holiness through our Lord Jesus Christ to me is the crux of the Christian faith into which all things will fall into place.
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Nov 18, 2009 7:51 am

Grew up Nazarene, I was pretty devout (church twice on Sundays, mid-week service, summer camps, etc.) I went to public school, though. Discovered a bit of Christian philosophy, and was eager to prove the existence of God, etc., but as I read more began to have doubts. (My studies were confined to a handful of historical figures). I went to a nazarene college and finished, but by the time considered myself agnostic, or maybe vaguely non-religiously theistic at best. Seldom went to church--went a couple of times a year just to not lose it entirely, and visited a few other denominations here and there, including Catholic.


Though I was frustrated by some aspects of the culture, I by and large didn't feel rebellious.
Many of my classmates who were regular church attenders, etc. disliked the college's polciy on mandatory chapel services (though you only had to go to half of them, and you got to pick which ones) and I actually defended the practice, on more or less cultural grounds. It made sense to me if the formation of Christian community was a big part of the school's ethos that they'd want to motivate people to attend religiously-oriented events, and some of them were more academically or community oriented than religious per se.



I mostly preferred the company of Christians, still loved discussing Christian ideas, etc.--I just didn't buy it. I continued reading philosophy and became more persuaded by general theism (along the lines of Aristotle) but had a hard time buying the more personal theism of Christianity.

As I apporoached 30, I re-embraced the Christian belief, partly with the help of philosophy and partly through some personal circumstances. I had some "ulterior" motives, or maybe not--I had come to see that I really wanted a Christian wife (didn't have a girldifriend at the time, and din't marry for a few more years) and I struggled knowing that it would be hard to find a Christian wife who took her faith seriously who would marry a non-Christian, even if he was okay with going to church with her, etc. But this alone couldn't motivate me--I needed a fair amount of philosophical convincing. It might be fair to say that while I didn't find the arguments completely convincing, they were good enough (and the counter arguments were no more convincing) for me toi allow this personal interest to break the tie. As Scripture speaks about non-believers being brought to faith by the spouse, I don't really necessarily think of what my thinking as being inauthentic, disingenuous, etc.

Anyway, I then needed to find an ecclesial home./ I started reading a bit of early Church history, and pretty quickly becamse sufficiently persuaded by the arguments for the "real presence" in communion and Apostolic succession. I had firends who had become Orthodox and Catholic, and my focus quickly shifted to concentrating on those traditions. I learned a great deal, began to understand the relationship between Scripoture and tradition in a whole newe light which led me to realize that I may not have had as many doubts about my faith if I had been exposed to this approach earlier. Of course, if i had been raised in it, I may not have been motivated to understand or appreciate the importance of this approach in the same way. In any case, I really struggled about whether to move more toward Orthodoxy or Catholicism--I eventually entered an Eastern rite Catholic church. I didn't really like the idea of seeing it as a "middle ground," but I suppose I did in some ways. I had also lived near (a block away) an EC church for a few years at one point, though, so that planted a seed as well. Anyway, I eventually married and now go to mostly to an ordianry RC chruch, as that is how my wife was raised, and there aren't ECs of my particular jurisdiction (Melkite) near me anymore, though there are some others (Ukrainian). I continue to read philosophy, but have gotten more into Orthodox and Catholic theology over the years since then.

There you have it, graybaeardheadbanger
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The Last Firstborn

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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Fri Nov 20, 2009 2:15 am

I went through this process:

Close-minded, homophobic Christian > atheist > LaVeyan Satanist > free-thinking, open-minded agnostic > free-thinking, open-minded Christian
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Kräg

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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:24 am

I went through this process:

was a chistian at first but no one really sat me down and explaind to me that Jesus died for my sins so i'd look at some of the people at my church and think "ther so perfict, im never going to heaven if that what i have to compeat with". I'd allso look at other Chistians who put people down and judge people and act as if ther better then them, at first i thort "they shoudent do that" but so meny people whoud judge others that i thort that i thort "geez, if thats what being a Chistian is all about i dont think i can do it enymore". I'd allway try to be good to people but it only coused me more pain. I was diagnosed with Asburges and Deppresion, everyone i went to high school with whoud taunt me to no end and i coud feal that the kids at my youth group were giggling behind my back (ther alot older now but i do have trust issues). so i ternd my back on Christ and devoted my life to being an arsehole. Acople of year latter i came accros some street preaches and we talked for a bit, that was wean the concept of hell kicked in for me and for a few monthe i coudent stope thinking of hell, i'd evean get panic attack. It all became to much and i had to start going to my old church. Now things are so much better, i feal like im a better man, not evean a better man but just a man were as befor i was just low life scum. I know that im not perfict and that i dont have to be.
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Kräg

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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:25 am

I went through this process:

was a chistian at first but no one really sat me down and explaind to me that Jesus died for my sins so i'd look at some of the people at my church and think "ther so perfict, im never going to heaven if that what i have to compeat with". I'd allso look at other Chistians who put people down and judge people and act as if ther better then them, at first i thort "they shoudent do that" but so meny people whoud judge others that i thort that i thort "geez, if thats what being a Chistian is all about i dont think i can do it enymore". I'd allway try to be good to people but it only coused me more pain. I was diagnosed with Asburges and Deppresion, everyone i went to high school with whoud taunt me to no end and i coud feal that the kids at my youth group were giggling behind my back (ther alot older now but i do have trust issues). so i ternd my back on Christ and devoted my life to being an arsehole. Acople of year latter i came accros some street preaches and we talked for a bit, that was wean the concept of hell kicked in for me and for a few monthe i coudent stope thinking of hell, i'd evean get panic attack. It all became to much and i had to start going to my old church. Now things are so much better, i feal like im a better man, not evean a better man but just a man were as befor i was just low life scum. I know that im not perfict and that i dont have to be.
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ELAN

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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:09 am

LastFirstborn wrote:
I went through this process:

Close-minded, homophobic Christian > atheist > LaVeyan Satanist > free-thinking, open-minded agnostic > free-thinking, open-minded Christian

Very interesting transformation. That would make for an interesting testimony.
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ELAN

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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:13 am

Kräg wrote:
I went through this process:

was a chistian at first but no one really sat me down and explaind to me that Jesus died for my sins so i'd look at some of the people at my church and think "ther so perfict, im never going to heaven if that what i have to compeat with". I'd allso look at other Chistians who put people down and judge people and act as if ther better then them, at first i thort "they shoudent do that" but so meny people whoud judge others that i thort that i thort "geez, if thats what being a Chistian is all about i dont think i can do it enymore". I'd allway try to be good to people but it only coused me more pain. I was diagnosed with Asburges and Deppresion, everyone i went to high school with whoud taunt me to no end and i coud feal that the kids at my youth group were giggling behind my back (ther alot older now but i do have trust issues). so i ternd my back on Christ and devoted my life to being an arsehole. Acople of year latter i came accros some street preaches and we talked for a bit, that was wean the concept of hell kicked in for me and for a few monthe i coudent stope thinking of hell, i'd evean get panic attack. It all became to much and i had to start going to my old church. Now things are so much better, i feal like im a better man, not evean a better man but just a man were as befor i was just low life scum. I know that im not perfict and that i dont have to be.

Yeah, I have read statistics before that it is a widespread belief that Christianity itself, not Christ, is more of a turn-off toward people who are shaky in their faith, and nonbelievers. I have to agree... I have not met many people who have said that they have blatantly disagreed with Christ, but I have met plenty who were disgusted with the church. This should not be.

Great to see you came back to the Lord, though, man. You don't need to be perfect in anyone's eyes. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Dec 02, 2009 8:26 am

Grew up in a Methodist family, was an Atheist/Satanist from about 15-17. Christ found and cleansed me at 17. Came into the faith as a Southern Baptist, and as I read the Bible, researched, and talked with people about some of the truths within (as well as God revealing some of His Truth in His Word to me directly), I then went into the Reformed Baptist subbranch of the Baptist denomination.
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Dec 02, 2009 6:28 pm

I'm not very good in typing longer english texts, as English is not my main language, but I want to share my story. I hope it will be understandable.

Been brought up in a methodist family, I'm one of five children. My father was pastor of the church (now in retirement (i.r.) - btw we call "i.r." now "in rotation" cause he has as much to do for the church as before...) . Many of us know how it feels to be brought up in a christian family, so I don't have to enlarge upon this. I was raised with all the traditions, the dos and don'ts and I didn't like to go to church, the youth groups etc., it was just too much for a kid. But I was told, it would be necessary to do it if I wanted to go to heaven and it would not be an easy life on earth and we should be rewarded in heaven. Typical evangelical thinking - many of us know it, many of us still try to live by that. Many times I lay in my bed thinking about my faith and I knew I had to be born again. One day there was an evangelistic event in our town and one evening I felt I had to give my life to Jesus today or never. So I did and after the event we prayed together and had a good time and I was happy to at last be a born again christian.
Years passed and I continued to be in the church, was integrated in the brass choir and tried to be in church service as regularly as I could. But also as the years passed, my thinking and searching went on unconsciously. One year I got very sick and nearly died from it and had to go to a rehab center where I learned also to trust in my feelings. This prompted me, among others, to reflect about my faith. For me as an open-minded thinking person it felt not right to have to live my faith the way I was told my whole life by my parents and the church. It was just impossible for me to unify the evangelical dogmas with my very own and god-given way of thinking and feeling. I got very depressed, lost my job and many times pondered on commiting suicide to end this grueling condition. My innermost and unchangeable belief in the existence of God always put an end to this suicide-thinking.
Years passed and I didn't find answers to my questions. My parents were biased by their church work and their strong belief the way they were living their faith would be the right way. Finding people in the church to talk to about my concerns felt to be nonsense cause most of them were happy in their little world of thought limiting dogmas (no offense!). Btw I never felt the necessity to be in a church at all: nice people, yes. But we had nothing in common. No thought-provoking discussions. Boring sermons about the same scriptural passages year in, year out. I finally came to realize that church is not for me. Browsing several christian boards in the internet where I had to hear I would be no christian, the devil probably had taken command over my life and the well known dogmas led me to think these experienced grown believers may be right and I lost all hope of being saved, and so I dived right into the next wave of dark depression. Three years ago I met my girlfriend and made it a little out of depression (it's still there yet, as it is a long process of healing). Long time I didn't think about my faith any more, didn't pray and tried to just live my life. But sometimes I realized that God was still in my mind. I expected nothing from him, so I didn't care a lot, but he was there in my deepest unconsciousness - an unshakeable base (can't argue the air away either). I began to listen to my old christian music albums and came to this board (and CMR and F.S.) and loved it there. Also I always feel sympathetic to christians being attacked by atheist flamers. (Btw I don't join such discussions cause they lead to nowhere.)
Just few days ago I did another step in my faith talking to my younger brother I'm visiting in Iceland at the time. It was about faith - at the breakfast table. He studied theology at a uni and prepared to become a missionary or a pastor in a charismatic evangelical church. After the studies he quit his intentions and went back to his former occupation being a male nurse. Anyway, he did not lose his faith as everybody may think, but he gained deep insight into what's going on behind the scenes of a church and it induced him to think twice. Also he got a very extensive insight in church history, philosophy and interesting thought-provoking point of views about christian faith and culture. After recalling some funny
childhood experiences we got deeper and came to unexpected consensuses:
- We both believe in God. Our belief in him is unshakeable.
- We don't want to be involved in a church no more. We don't believe it is necessary to be in a church at all.
- We believe that it is way easier to believe and live a godly life than churches want us to believe.
- We believe the Bible is just a very easy to understand instruction how men could live a God pleasing life here on earth in accordance with the entirety of God's creation (men, animals, nature and the universe). The essence of it are the ten commandments.
- Neverending discussions about science and religion, evolution and creation, sexuality, clothes, hair, "foul" language, etc. are only negligibilities which lead away from the crux of the matter.
- The Bible is an important book but not God's word verbatim.
- The people who wrote it down were just believers who interpreted writings and told experiences in their culture and time, with their knowledge.
- Discussions about if the stories of the Bible happened or not are useless. It's the psychological truth behind those pictures, just project your thoughts into the stories and feel them!
- God's truth is not abstruse, it is way easier to understand than we think. Become a child again, feel it, trust your heart.
- Don't try to get to the crux of the matter while in fact building walls around it. Try another point of view, see creation in it's entirety - we're still living on the earth that God created and said it was good!
- Don't frantically try to be oh so different from "the world". Instead live authentical - in the world!

I think I would call my belief system something like "post-evangelical". (I would neither identify myself completely with post-modern thinking, nor the emerging church with their sometimes abstruse ideas, nor too much philosophy cause it mainly is too far out of touch with the real world. Nonetheless all of these things provoke my thoughts (- so does the wisdom of other religions!).)

It's just my belief. I know that some people may feel offended by this. I can live with that, sorry.

What's left to say? Well, I'm feeling much better today. I accepted for myself that this is my present point of view and I'll keep on - searching ? - well, let's say: believing in God, trying to live authentical - today - in the world, asking, thinking and feeling, experiencing and learning.


Last edited by Torrente on Thu Dec 03, 2009 10:16 am; edited 2 times in total
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sword of the heretic

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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Dec 02, 2009 7:53 pm

Started as a Baptist because my family were Baptists. After I turned 18, I went non-denom. Church and TBN messed with my head for several years. I can't begin to tell you how many times I raised my hand or went down to the front of the sanctuary because my heart "wasn't right with God". Sure, I'd get an emotional high from it afterwards, but the moment I was out the door, the sad reality was that nothing had changed.
Even with my last church, who I was a member for years, was not immune. They're good people, but I got so sick and tired of having to sit thru a 30 minute speech every other Sunday morning with the pastor and AP briefing us about how much money was raised towards the building expansion, and how much more we need, and by what date, blah, blah, blah.

And the hymns? I'm not a big fan of singing hymns like they do in the more uptight churches, but the one thing that annoys me even more are that many churches who do worship music sing nothing but the same generic Chris Tomlin/Todd Agnew CCM crap with everyone's hands raised. Sorry if that offends anyone here, but that ain't for me.

So...to state it plainly...I quit church. I get plenty of fellowship from places like here, Firestream, CRF, etc. I have connected with God much better, now that I don't have to worry about whether I'm 'not right with God' with that emotional keyboard/piano music in the background that hits a nerve. There's been plenty of times when I'm not right with God, and all it takes is for me to take this to the Father, and let Him deal with it.
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Dec 02, 2009 9:14 pm

lol @ being "free-thinking"

Was raised Methodist until my mother died when I was 7. My dad didn't take me to church as much and I started looking at Native American beliefs a lot (I'm part Blackfoot). Then he met my second stepmom (his first remarriage didn't last long) and she got us going to church again, a Baptist church, and that's when I decided to come to the faith. Stayed Baptist (though was open to going to other denominations' churches, including a non-denom one for a while, because my best friend went there as well) until my senior year of college, when I saw on Firestream some members talking about the Orthodox church. I had never even heard of it before that (I had been taught that the RCC was the perverted form of the early church) and decided to check it out. Been growing into the beliefs of the OC ever since.
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Dec 02, 2009 9:36 pm

my mother was a devote christian, so i was raised in church, but when i hit the age of 11 i decided it wasnt for me, when i hit the age of 13 i decided i hated god, for what reason i dont know but i flat out hated him, some of it had to do with my obsession with norwegien black metal and marilyn manson, i was one of the original mansonites before it became a fad in 1996, i got into him in early 93, and black metal in early 92 or 91, and death metal in 92, funny how that synchs up with my hate for god, i decided to be a self styled satanist, which i carried on with til i was 20, but what really set off my hate for god was my total obsession with deicide, from 93 to 2005 i was obsessed with glens lyrics more than anything else, in fact serpents of the light was my bible from 97 til i found god, i hated christians, i wanted to kill them, i blamed god for everything wrong in my life, from drug addiction to my failed marriage, although i gave up the satanist crap at 20 i continued to hate god til i was 25, then in early 2006 me and becky went to a dark funeral show (yes my ex wife was a satanist and into black metal, til she found god again, she was raised upc but turned from god around 97, but she didnt refind god til 2002 and didnt stop listening to bm til around 2006) and i felt god at that show for the first time in my life, only god and the band that played the opening slot know but a christian band got to open for dark funeral, the lord does work in very mysterious ways, anyways after their set the lead singer stood on the stage after the band left, he asked if he could have a minute, and then began to preach the word of god, to my amazement no one killed him,lol their was total silence, mind you these were dark funeral fans, but the dude kept on preaching, and after 5 minutes he was done, and everyone in the place started clapping, i kid you not, i was flabbergasted, i felt god at that exact moment, ive been a full blown heroin addict and that feeling of the holy spirit made a heroin high seem empty and pathetic, thats how strong it was, and i wasnt even a follower of god, i hated god, but ill be damned if god didnt force his way into my soul, i was baptized and born again 6 months later, now i will tell you this, i hate religion, always have and always will, i think religion is a man made disease and it pollutes gods word, but thats just my opinion so those out there who love nothing more than to start crap because someones opinion isnt your own dont bother you will be ignored, i believe the way to heaven is to follow in gods steps as closely as possible and spread his word no matter how you do, and slay souls for the lord, also no matter how you do it

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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Dec 02, 2009 10:26 pm

If you don't rebel from your upbringing, something is wrong with you.
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Dec 02, 2009 11:01 pm

Kamerad Ash wrote:
If you don't rebel from your upbringing, something is wrong with you.

I disagree.
Rebellion is a reality - it's not a requirement or a rite of passage.
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I've had my own bout with "rebellion". Both mom and dad came from southern baptist churches... and I was in full compliance with them until I discovered alcohol at age 21. Actually, everything was still on par, for about two weeks....

I still attempted compliance, but my blooming alcoholism and soon to be drug addiction made that impossible. Well, not quite - I just didn't care after that. Give me a fix.

I never disagreed with or though God, Jesus, Christianity or various Christian doctrines were wrong, I just didn't care. I just wanted to be drunk and high. I don't despise religion, never have - its not for me, and never has. Spirituality is where its at.

....but like many other things, this only worked when I worked it, and when God did for me what I couldn't do for myself. There was a time I had to learn that believing in God/Jesus, was simply not enough.

To live a spiritual life requires taking action. I can admit, accepting, believe and decide all I want, but until I take action, all of that is fantasy.
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Kamerad Ash

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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Dec 02, 2009 11:13 pm

And rites of passage are not necessary requirements.
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Dec 02, 2009 11:15 pm

Kamerad Ash wrote:
If you don't rebel from your upbringing, something is wrong with you.
If you're serious in saying this....
ROFL
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Wed Dec 02, 2009 11:58 pm

Kamerad Ash wrote:
If you don't rebel from your upbringing, something is wrong with you.

I wouldn't go so far as to say that "something is wrong with you" if you don't eventually rebel, but your general point I agree with (especially in the case of theism/spirituality - a theistic worldview is an extremely mysterious, paradoxical and uncertain one, not something that I can see a rational person never questioning but always sincerely believing).


Last edited by LastFirstborn on Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:33 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:15 am

Kamerad Ash wrote:
And rites of passage are not necessary requirements.

?????

And necessary rites are not of passage requirements.

?????
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:23 am

Just responding to your over-analyzing by over analyzing.
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:48 am

Kamerad Ash wrote:
Just responding to your over-analyzing by over analyzing.

Keep trying! You'll get it!
^_^

I didn't even see you were doing that at all. It just appeared to me you overlooked the word "or". (from "Rebellion is a reality - it's not a requirement or a rite of passage.") My mistake.

If that sentence is truly "over" analyzing, I guess I'll have to find a way to get a simpler point across with fewer words.

Wish me luck! @_@
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Thu Dec 03, 2009 1:53 am

Well, rites of passage wouldn't exist without rebellion. imo.


Something is wrong with a child who doesn't rebel in some fashion against their upbringing , because no upbringing, no matter how sanctimonious.. is without some error.


Rebellion is necessary in a world where parents are themselves deceived and practice deceiving.. no matter how benevolent their intentions may be.

Hence scripture teaching us that what God has to say is more important than what your paretns have to say.
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Thu Dec 03, 2009 5:28 pm

Some rites of passage wouldn't exist without rebellion, but not all.

Getting a driver's license, getting that first job, first time voting, hell - even shooting dad's rifle for the first time are all "rites of passage" that don't require rebellion.

In regards to the child being "wrong" for not rebelling, I believe "wrong" is the wrong word.

Someone that rebels their upbringing, could be for several motives - basically boiling down to: "I want to do what I want", and/or "mom and dad are full of crap."

Someone that doesn't rebel, could be for believing mom and dad know what's best, and they truly WANT to comply and live similarly with the lives of their parents, despite the errors which they're probably more than just-a-little aware of. ^_^

I wouldn't say either is "wrong" - it just is what it is.
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PostSubject: Re: Deviation from Christian upbringings?   Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:03 pm

People can make mistakes without rebellion...Not everyone does, I know some really happy, well adjusted people who have solid parent/child relationships, but not many, so it is common. And even well meaning parents can actually BE full of crap and detrimental to children
BTW, you do realize that you could argue for the next 2 years on the meaning of the word rebellion, right? Wink
(Also, I vote that if you do decide to argue, be nice and supply chips & cookies for the spectators!)

Wow Hguols, you were 21 when you discovered alcohol?

I didn't set out to rebel, I just didn't fit the "mold" that my parents' organized religion demanded. I really tried to though, and it took me far, far from God and almost killed me. It's amazing how far away from God religion can take you.

@ Mazzie-
Quote :
I was raised in strict catholic family and went through a lot of tough situations where I pretty much lost my faith for awhile. I was self confessed atheist from 13 years old til 16 years old. [...] I pretty much had to nearly die to find my faith again. I haven't looked back ever since.

That's basically me, except a protestant family & church. Religion and "god" always went along with rejection or mourning or pain or failure or some other wonderful thought. By 10 I was avoiding church as much as possible, and 13 I decided it wasn't real. And that was back in the day before metal, when they told me I was sinning b/c I liked Linkin Park (don't stone me lol). It got really fun during the sermons about how people who like rock music are satanic, wearing black & eyeliner, having tattoo or piercing is a sign of demonic possesion, etc, etc... chairbeat

I know I was saved as a really young child, I remember loving Jesus. But the transition between childhood & adulthood was rocky. I think we often forget that Jesus is best known through eyes like children not 5 syllable words and complicated "explanations".

It wasn't until I was 17 and worked at a camp for special needs kids that I met christian people who were genuine and loving. It was like breathing for the first time, feeling peace just being around the people. That cliche, "I want what they have". I remember the preacher, he wasn't a stuck up guy, and he was preaching about love (never heard a pastor preach on love before or since. Heard a series on "God is wrath" though). I was in bad situations, the love of people, and the reintroduction to God there definitly saved my life.

I want to be in a church. It's a collection of people who love God and want to do what He wants (justice, mercy, caring for the forgotten people, love) and there's strength in numbers right?
At the same time I don't usually go to church if I have the option. It still feels fakey... rules and if the church is full of christians, and I'm a christian, then why do I feel like such an alien?
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