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sword of the heretic

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PostSubject: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Sun Aug 02, 2009 4:59 pm

Is there anything wrong with this? I really want to get your opinions on this, but first, let me elaborate a little bit.

Since the death of my mother, along with the death of my brother, the loss of my house, business, vehicles, basically everything I owned, I slipped into a depression, and sometimes had thoughts of suicide. One day, I discovered funeral doom, and my whole world changed. I became fascinated with sorrow and melancholy. I embraced all that is negative rather than to run away from it. I became fascinated by the darkness around me. There are days when I realize that the world is destroying itself, and there is no better feeling for me than to sit back and watch the chaos. I went from bitching about how much my life sucks, to embracing it, and accepting sorrow as a part of life.

I love artwork of demons and I have a weird obsession with g.rim reapers. I don't know. I'm looking at my paragraphs I just typed, and I realized that none of it makes a lick of sense. But I want to ask you guys anyway...can a fascination with the darkness go too far, while still maintaining a relationship with Christ?
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mazzie

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:02 pm

Well it's good that you are not letting depression bother you or destroy your life, however it can go too far. I would suggest you just to be careful.

personally, i absolutely love the dark artworks and likes to look at 'em pretty much almost everyday.

There is a difference between enjoying the darkness and actually becoming involved in the darkness and being under satanic influences.

If you feel like its not right then avoid it at all cost.
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GothiChild

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Sun Aug 02, 2009 5:10 pm

If that interfer with your relationship with God, avoit it.

I have a deep love for Melancholic and Depressive gothic music but in no way I let those feelings control me.
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therockismighty

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Sun Aug 02, 2009 10:32 pm

I guess its that saying find joy in all times, its good that you haven't dwelt in the negative in a harmful way and have moved on from suicidal thoughts.

I don't see things the same as you, as I am not you Wink , I prefer to pray for those in the world who are misguided and oblivious to how they are missing out on God in their lives. I'm annoyingly positive in a realistic way. I like light - as in music that draws out the light, I am not a fan of darkness in movies or in the world, demons scare the poopy outta me only cos I just don't dig the fierceness and harshness of them.

I believe personally that Jesus is the light and I need as much light in me and around me so I can be a reflection of goodness and have it to replenish my spirit when low.
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Zhou Tai 04

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Sun Aug 02, 2009 11:35 pm

Sword of the Heretic wrote:
I love artwork of demons and I have a weird obsession with g.rim reapers.
Those are merely representations of human imagination anyways. As long you don't like, start worshipping them or something weird like that, then there's nothing wrong with liking that sort of art. I enjoy it quite a bit myself, probably just as much as art that is more 'light,' or other kinds (like surreal, abstract, etc.).
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Hero

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Sun Aug 02, 2009 11:43 pm

Embracing sorrow definitively isn't a good thing. Quite simply because you are more than conqueror through Christ. Meaning, you've already won this battle against sorrow and depression, in faith, through Christ, by Grace.

If I may add, I have somtimes felt your bitterness towards the world in general, and really dude... That's just not good. From what I understand, this bitterness kinda switched to numbness, basically. The "I don't give a fk" syndrome, if you will. And really, you need to care. You need to care about the world destroying itself. You need to care about people. Because Jesus cares.

Your situation and your fascination for death and sorrow, imho, is everything but good.

So, now what? If it's not good, what do I do, you may ask. Well, first and foremost, seek God in your life. You're obviously going through a hard time in your life, but Jesus never let you down. You may think "yeah right, its easy for you to say that" Well, The Bible tells us that we are never alone through our struggles. The best way to deal with things is to leave them at God's feet.

I don't care what people say. The Bible is clear. We are more than conquerors. Through out all the bible, it says we win. I dont give a crap about misunderstandings over Job's book (I've heard this excuse for "vain" sorrow/torment wayyyyyyyyy too much).

Some times, we are like Joshua, on our faces crying on God's feet. But what did He tell him?

Joshua 7:10
The LORD said to Joshua, "Stand up! What are you doing down on your face?


Im sorry if I'm looking like I'm trying to preach or something... but really, I felt it was appropriate. Don't accept your sorrow. Be happy for what you have, but seek more of God, then your life will be transformed by Him and your sorrow will change to joy.

For Joy is one of the fruits of The Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-30 (New International Version)

22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.


Seek God, let Him transform you so you may bear fruits. Cause if a tree bears no good fruits, he is cut down and sent to burn.

Luke 13:6-8
6Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. 7So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?'

8" 'Sir,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it. 9If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.' "
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The Last Firstborn

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Sun Aug 02, 2009 11:54 pm

It isn't sinful to have a fascination with the dark and obscure, or even embrace it. But like anything else you may absorb on a regular basis, depressing words and images can creep into your subconscious, so guard yourself!
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ELAN

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Mon Aug 03, 2009 12:36 am

Sword, I think I was in the same boat for a while. For me, I think that nowadays I embrace both darkness and happiness equally... it's strange.
I think I have always felt more of a teetering feeling toward the dark though.

All I have to say is this... our world is built upon other people's ideals, and our society was predetermined by others. It's depressing. Therefore, with this fact and others, I think there is a reason why we are saturated in darkness. And we reflect this.
However, as long as we have hope in Christ and live for that, in heart and mind, we will be alright. I think the reason why is due to Christ being a light in just simply not being of this world. He was in the world, but not of it, and if we follow him, it is like looking out of our cold cell into the green bright fields.

We may reflect what we have around us; what else do people expect us to do? However, if we reflect the shimmering hope Christ radiates as well, and appreciate that part of this juxtaposition, we are able to remain in the dark, yet steering toward the only light that makes any sense or is not artificial like that of the farce this world tries to impose on us.
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Exquisite Corpse

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Mon Aug 03, 2009 8:00 am

Well I believe that is it good to come to accept that there are sorrows in the world and in our own lives. We cannot escape that on the Earth as it is now. But I do think that it is unhealthy to dwell too much in darkness and negativity while being a Christian. Christ has called us to be set apart from the the darkness (metaphorical).

However, it has been my experience that as I got TOO used to sorrow in my life and actually liking it at some point, it hardened me so much to the point where now it seems I have become numb and lost the ability to feel most emotions. I'm not saying this will happen to you necessarily though. For me, it must have been a combination of desensitization and mostly some sort of subconscious defense mechanism.

And in terms of music, I think it depends. For an example, I LOVE depressive black metal and funeral doom metal. However, to me, neither genre make me feel sad, depressed, or down in any way. To me, they make me feel either happy (go figure), content, or at the lower end of the spectrum, mellow and chill. It's subjective. But of course, as with anything else, if it becomes an obstacle between you and God, then it is not good. What is ok for me might not be ok for some. I know some people who would feel extremely blue and depressed if they heard a quarter of the music I listen to! Razz My mom even heard me blast Opeth's Orchid once and she claimed it was "satanic", hahaha.

I agree with Hero and Elan. Oh and:

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." Philippians 4:8 (New American Standard Bible)

I too love some "dark" imagery, but again, that does not mean such imagery is necessarily "evil" or of The Darkness. I used to be intensely pessimistic, but am now very optimistic, and a happy joyful person. However, I still feel sorrowful at the same time. It's strange, but it's the truth. I feel both happy and a bit depressed simultaneously, not because of my circumstances but of the bad circumstances I see many people are in, and the darkness in the world.

But rest your thoughts on the Lord. He can indeed change your sorrow to joy.
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Matt



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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:07 am

Watch ou with embracing what is dark and morbid.
A fascination can turn into an obsession quite easily
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mystery

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Mon Aug 03, 2009 6:32 pm

sword mang, yew should really write music. seems like it would be a good channel methinks. and yew could see how your thoughts manifested as to understand them.
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sword of the heretic

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:33 pm

Thank you, everyone, for your contributions.

ELAN and Corpse (I can't remember your name), your posts really identified with a lot of my feelings and opinions on this.

Matt, I totally get where you're coming from, and there are some days where it goes beyond fascination, but not into a full blown obsession.

Mystery, that's the second time you told me this. I remember the last time you told me this was January 29, 2008, the day I posted my suicidal thoughts thread on FS. (I've come a long way, haven't I?) Strangely enough, I never thought about putting my feelings into songs or poetry. Maybe one day, I will.
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LadyRocker

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:32 am

Swordy, I'm readying your posts here on the Blabberboard, and I've also discussed with you the whole thing about the funeral doom. I see, at times that this is feeding your depression, so rather than embracing it, you have come to the point of obsession. Now that you have come to terms with your feelings, maybe it's time to embrace God's perfect will and see what He would have you do.

There's an element that's been missing for awhile, and it's called "faith." It's not an easy thing to grasp because you can't touch it, see it or even smell it. It's something that God directs you in, and it's not easy to comprehend. Most people don't trust God enough to help things work out. Trust Him. Let faith work through you, and embrace it.
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laurenwrites

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PostSubject: Re: Morbid obsessions and other ramblings   Fri Aug 07, 2009 6:57 pm

Exquisite Corpse wrote:


However, it has been my experience that as I got TOO used to sorrow in my life and actually liking it at some point, it hardened me so much to the point where now it seems I have become numb and lost the ability to feel most emotions. I'm not saying this will happen to you necessarily though. For me, it must have been a combination of desensitization and mostly some sort of subconscious defense mechanism.

And in terms of music, I think it depends. For an example, I LOVE depressive black metal and funeral doom metal. However, to me, neither genre make me feel sad, depressed, or down in any way. To me, they make me feel either happy (go figure), content, or at the lower end of the spectrum, mellow and chill. It's subjective. But of course, as with anything else, if it becomes an obstacle between you and God, then it is not good. What is ok for me might not be ok for some. I know some people who would feel extremely blue and depressed if they heard a quarter of the music I listen to! Razz My mom even heard me blast Opeth's Orchid once and she claimed it was "satanic", hahaha.


I too love some "dark" imagery, but again, that does not mean such imagery is necessarily "evil" or of The Darkness. I used to be intensely pessimistic, but am now very optimistic, and a happy joyful person. However, I still feel sorrowful at the same time. It's strange, but it's the truth. I feel both happy and a bit depressed simultaneously, not because of my circumstances but of the bad circumstances I see many people are in, and the darkness in the world.

Same.
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